Listen:
Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past. It changes who gets to control your present.
In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, I was delighted to speak with filmmaker, writer, and coach Gayle Kirschenbaum and her 102-year-old mother, Mildred Kirschenbaum, about their volatile, funny, and hard-won evolution from conflict to connection. Gayle shares the story behind her debut memoir, Bullied to Besties: A Daughter’s Journey to Forgiveness, including the relentless criticism she grew up with, the physical toll it took, and the moment she realized the only way forward was to stop living as a victim.
The conversation also explores generational silence around feelings, antisemitism and identity, and the surprising way Mildred became Gayle’s most rigorous story consultant, even when she appears as the “villain” in the narrative. It’s a candid look at what forgiveness can mean when the other person doesn’t change, but you do.
In This Episode
- Why Gayle decided forgiveness was the only way forward
- How childhood dynamics quietly shape identity, health, and self-trust
- Generational silence, emotional truth, and the limits of understanding
- Structuring a memoir through therapy, flashbacks, and confrontation
- Mildred’s perspective on her parenting and how intention & impact don’t always align
- Using journals, letters, and family archives as memoir source material
- Seeing a parent as a wounded child and how that reframed everything
- What it looks like to reclaim agency while staying in relationship
Watch on YouTube
About Gayle and Mildred
Gayle Kirschenbaum is an Emmy-winning filmmaker, photographer, writer, and coach. Her film LOOK AT US NOW, MOTHER! premiered on Netflix and has been credited with transforming lives. Her TED talk is “No More Drama with Mama.” Gayle co-authored MILDRED’S MINDSET: WISDOM FROM A WOMAN CENTENARIAN with her mother, centenarian influencer Mildred Kirschenbaum. Her film A DOG’S LIFE: A DOGAMENTARY premiered on HBO. Gayle and her work have been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Shondaland, The Ethel (AARP), and on national television. BULLIED TO BESTIES: A DAUGHTER’S JOURNEY TO FORGIVENESS is her debut memoir. Publisher’s Weekly calls it “a mesmeric memoir… more than a story of trauma–riveting and beautifully wrought.”
At 102, Mildred Kirschenbaum has a zest for life. She is known for her viral life advice, as written in MILDRED’S MINDSET: WISDOM FROM A WOMAN CENTENARIAN, which features 20 tips on longevity and living life to the fullest. She is a social media influencer, sharing her simple yet profound tips for a fulfilling life. Mildred’s positive attitude and love for socializing have endeared her to many, and her approach to life reflects her belief in enjoying every day. Her daughter, Gayle Kirschenbaum, has been instrumental in sharing her mother’s wisdom with the world. Mildred’s remarkable journey and unique perspective on life inspire and uplift readers of all ages.
Connect with Gayle
Bullied to Besties: A Daughter’s Journey To Forgiveness
Get More From Estelle
📰 Read & Subscribe
New Post on Substack
On Craft, Revision, and the Paragraph You Almost Cut
What writers risk losing when they revise too quickly, with details about an upcoming AMA for paid subscribers.
Read it here
🎓 Learn with Estelle
Upcoming Writer’s Digest Webinar
Amplifying the Echo Effect in Memoir and Essays
February 26
1:00–2:30 pm ET
Learn how patterns, callbacks, and emotional echoes can deepen your memoir and personal essays in this brand-new, interactive craft webinar.
Learn more and register here
NYU Zoom Course
Writing About Your Life Through Memoir & Essays
Beat writer’s block, shape a powerful narrative, learn how to pitch editors, and leave with a ready-to-publish essay or memoir pages.
Find out more and register here
Private Small-Group Memoir Class
March session is sold out.
Next six-week session begins May 2026.
Email freelancewritingdirect@gmail.com to join the waiting list.
🎤 Watch, Read & Listen
TEDx Talk
How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond
Book
Writing That Gets Noticed
Named a Poets & Writers “Best Book for Writers”
Audiobook available here
Podcast
Freelance Writing Direct
2025 Podcast of the Year, American Writing Awards
About Estelle
Estelle Erasmus is an award-winning journalist, TEDx speaker, and author of Writing That Gets Noticed. She is the host, founder, and executive producer of Freelance Writing Direct and an adjunct professor at NYU.
Her work has appeared in more than 150 publications, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, WIRED, PBS/Next Avenue, The Independent, and AARP The Magazine. She has served as editor-in-chief of five national magazines.
Follow Estelle
Instagram: @EstelleSErasmus
TikTok: @EstelleSErasmus
Twitter/X: @EstelleSErasmus
Bluesky: @estelleserasmus.bsky.social
