Listen:
Memoir often begins where certainty ends, and that is exactly where Abigail Thomas feels most alive on the page. In this thoughtful conversation between friends, Estelle Erasmus and Abigail explore what it means to write through uncertainty, follow curiosity, and let small surprising moments become the heart of a story.
This episode is for writers who crave honesty on the page, who wrestle with self-doubt, and who want practical ways to turn ordinary moments and uncomfortable memories into powerful stories.
In This Episode
- How Abby’s writing process starts with curiosity rather than structure
- Why writing for yourself first can quiet doubt and deepen authenticity
- The surprising moments that reshape a memoir while you’re writing it
- What aging and memory loss have taught Abby about storytelling
- Estelle’s own revelations while drafting her memoir
- A simple exercise to unlock vulnerable, unexpected material
Watch on YouTube
About Abigail Thomas
Abigail Thomas has four children,12 grandchildren, two great grandchildren, eleven books, and a high school education. She was asked to leave Bryn Mawr freshman year when she told the Dean she was pregnant, and she never went back. She had always wanted to be a writer, but for a long time the closest she came was bopping around her kitchen to Paperback Writer, by the Beatles. When she was forty-eight, after an interesting adventure, when she got home, she left her ego outside, and began to write a story. It didn’t work, but instead of crumpling it up saying “who do you think you are?” sat in a different chair, and another, and at the end of the afternoon, she had written a story. It was published in the Columbia Journal of Poetry and Prose. She had learned you have to keep at it. Writing is work of the best kind.
She has written two short story collections, one novel and four works of non-fiction, including the memoirs Safekeeping; A Three Dog Life; What Comes Next and How to Like It; and a book about writing, Thinking about Memoir.
Still Life at Eighty: The Next Interesting Thing is her latest memoir, published by Scribners in November 2024.
Connect with Abigail Thomas
Substack Abigail Thomas/What Comes Next?
Other Episodes with Abigail Thomas
#116 Conversations with Abby: Ruminations on Writing
#83 Writing Your Way into An Engaging and Enthralling Story
Get More from Estelle
NYU (Zoom), 6-week course: Writing About Your Life Through Memoir, Essays & Articles. Learn to beat writer’s block, shape a powerful narrative, pitch editors, and walk away with a ready-to-publish essay or memoir pages. Find out more information and register here.
Private small-group memoir class: January and March are sold out. The next 6-week session starts May 2026. Email me at freelancewritingdirect@gmail.
Substack Post: How to Pitch Slate: Advice, Ideas and Examples For Writing Essays and Articles From My NYU Editor-on-Call Event: If you missed my Editor-on-Call session with Slate’s Rebecca Onion, I put together a recap with everything writers need to know—rates, story types, what they’re commissioning, and the pitch mistakes editors see most often.
Upcoming Webinar with Writer’s Digest
Amplifying the Echo Effect in Memoir and Essays, February 26th, 1:00-2:30 pm ET
If you want to understand how patterns, callbacks, and emotional echoes can deepen your work, join me for this brand new interactive craft webinar.
Learn more and register here.
Article Highlight: In Provoked Magazine
I wrote When Your Colleague Isn’t a Friend. She’s a Frenemy.
This piece, one of my most personal and vulnerable ones in a while, explores the subtle ways professional relationships can undermine us, why we tell ourselves it is personal, and how to recognize what is really going on. This story came from an experience that stayed with me, and writing it helped me see it with more clarity.
Here is a line from the piece that captures the heart of it:
“In the face of her snark, I became a lesser version of myself and didn’t deliver a more characteristic-of-me clap back. And felt like crap about it.”
If you have ever dealt with someone who smiled to your face while undermining you, or felt the sting of being minimized when you were simply trying to shine, I think you will relate to this one.
Read the full essay here (and please feel free to leave a comment and share it). We are all in this together.
Publications to Celebrate
My former student Tess Clarkson worked on this essay over several years. As Tess puts it:
“I wrote a version of it several years ago, pitched it, and got a rejection. Estelle reviewed it and gave me notes. I reworked the essay and let it sit for over a year. I picked it back up, changed parts, pitched it again, and sold it.”
It’s a juicy read and a great reminder that publication is often about timing, revision, and returning to the work with fresh eyes. It may even spark an idea of your own.
Designing A Sex Room Didn’t Lead To More Sex. But Here’s Why I’d Do It Again Anyway. (AARP’s The Girlfriend)
My Latest Craft Essay
Open Secrets Magazine featured my newest craft essay, “How to Make Concessions When Writing Confessions.”
In it, I explore how personal essayists can strike the right balance between honesty and discernment—what to reveal, what to withhold, and how thoughtful concessions can actually elevate the emotional power of your story. This is a resource for those polishing those end of year essays. Read the full piece here:
Explore More
- 📘 Writing That Gets Noticed – Buy the book | Audiobook
- 🎤 Watch Estelle’s TEDx Talk: How to Get Noticed in Your Writing and Beyond
- 📰 Subscribe on Substack: https://estelleserasmus.substack.com
Latest posts: “How To Pitch Slate, Why Every Memoir Needs the Echo Effect, When Writers Are the Ones Blocking the Page: 6 Ways to Move Forward (and An Offer); Stop Counting Your Words. Start Shaping Your Story” and “How to Get Published in Cosmopolitan or Seventeen” - 🎧 More episodes: Freelance Writing Direct Podcast
About Estelle
Estelle Erasmus is an award-winning journalist, author of Writing That Gets Noticed (named a “Best Book for Writers” by Poets & Writers), and host of Freelance Writing Direct—2025 Podcast of the Year (Education), American Writing Awards. A Contributing Editor for Writer’s Digest and adjunct professor at NYU, her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, WIRED, PBS/Next Avenue, The Independent, and AARP: The Magazine. She’s served as editor-in-chief of five national magazines.
