Musings on My Midlife Wisdom

Estelle ErasmusBy Estelle Erasmus

Being a midlife mom means that I’ve had many years  to acquire  wisdom based on life lessons I’ve learned.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned (in no particular order).

*You never know when your bad luck’s your good luck. Think about it: maybe you overslept but because that happened you avoided a highway accident. Or, you didn’t get the job that you wanted, but that’s why you were available when your dream job opened up. So, don’t rail at your bad luck, because it might be a rabbit’s foot in disguise.

*The people you help are not always the people who help you Knowing this will save you a lot of wasted time and energy. When  you do someone a favor, never expect anything back in return. Because it will probably not come back to you in that way, but it will come back to you eventually.. from someone else.  From my experience, I believe that is the way the universe works.

Try to Live in the Present Moment This part is the hardest of all for me, I think, but it’s essential. Even when I’m caught up in my haze of writing, mono-focused on my computer or in my thoughts, I try to make time to focus on my daughter when she gets home from school. We read together (she reads to me), we talk, dance around the room, and share best parts of our day. That connection with her (and my husband) is what keeps me grounded.

Communicate and Commiserate These are my tenets for getting along with friends, family members (including my husband) and colleagues. Reaching out via IM or texting or Facebook keeps me connected with friends. My husband and a small circle get me via phone. I try to chat regularly with close friends, catch up with my husband (who often works late hours) by having date nights, and Skype with my parents who live a few hours away.  But I think commiserating is just as important as communicating. My friends know they always have my ear, and my husband and daughter know that I always have their backs—and it goes both ways.


Hey everyone,  I’m going to be speaking at the sold-out Erma Bombeck Writers Conference this month for the Speed Dating for Writers  Sessions, where I’ll be talking about Getting Published on the Huffington Post and Other Online Sites. See details here.


Also, check out my latest column on 


If you like my words of wisdom, find out more on my Facebook page  or on Twitter.

14 thoughts on “Musings on My Midlife Wisdom”

  1. I also believe that what think is bad luck can be gift wrapped as good luck. I firmly believe that everything happens to us for a reason whether we like it or not! It’s so nice getting to know more about you!

  2. Excellent life lessons. One of the advantages of aging is acquiring the wisdom to know these things.

  3. So many good points. As kids age, they aren’t always ready to talk when you are. So you really do need to drop everything when they are ready to talk because sometimes that’s your only shot.

  4. This is a little different kind of post for you. I enjoyed getting to know more about the inner you and how you think than your usual stories give us!

  5. All very wise things to remember. I especially needed to read this today, especially about “the people you help…” Yes, a great disappointment has happened today with someone I helped who did an about-face and is NOT helping with something I need. And I know you’re right when you say it will come back from someone else out there in the universe…Thanks for this.

  6. Good lessons all. Like you, I continually struggle with staying grounded in the present moment…but it does get easier with practice! Thanks for sharing the wisdom you’ve acquired.

  7. A neighbor of ours, who worked in the Twin Towers, overslept the morning on 9/11. Yes, there are certainly life-saving perks to having bad luck be good luck…

  8. These are all great tips. Helping others and not expecting back is a tough one for me. I am always surprised when over the years I was a help and someone just doesn’t reciprocate but felt it was expected from me?

  9. Thank your for sharing these wonderful life lessons. The older I get, the more I do try to live in the present moment. I am such a planner and organizer, this does not always come naturally to me. I am def a work in progress!

  10. All excellent advice. I especially agree with the attitude of doing good deeds without expecting any direct ‘payback’ from that person. That’s why I NEVER loan anything- I always give. Makes it’s final with no expectations.

  11. When I realized that second one – – here it was a long before motherhood I came to motherhood late 🙂 – – it was a life changer.
    Hadn’t realized that I was giving freely to others but expecting I would receive back from them in return (!)
    Even something as simple as a thank you.
    Now I help with no strings. Now I help and bask in the helpers high 🙂
    And if anything good flows back my way it’s just a little protein icing on the Chia cake 🙂

Comments are closed.